


Kloktober, Oct. 7th: Drunk or Eating Together

by Morpheus626



Series: Lee's Kloktober 2020 [7]
Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:41:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26866837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morpheus626/pseuds/Morpheus626
Summary: Went with Eating Together for this one (I’ve had a long day and Emotions and can’t tackle any topics re: alcohol as I write this lmao)So we’ve got Dethklok and Halloween candy instead!I couldn’t help myself, so I made up stupid off-brand names of famous candy because that seems like something they would have had to do for the show. Please enjoy them, they’re all dumb as shit lol.A lil bit of Skwisgaar/Charles towards the end? Which isn’t a ship I’ve ever fallen into really, but it worked out weirdly well here, surprisingly enough!
Relationships: Charles Foster Offdensen/Skwisgaar Skwigelf
Series: Lee's Kloktober 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948486
Kudos: 3





	Kloktober, Oct. 7th: Drunk or Eating Together

“That candy was for the kids,” Charles sighed. “For trick-or-treating.” 

“It was used for trick-or-treating!” Nathan protested as he shoved a handful of Nards in this mouth. “We trick-or-treated it...from ourselves.” 

“And how exactly does that work?” Charles asked. 

“Allow us to show you,” Pickles replied. “Toki, c’mere.” 

Toki, who was lounged across the other side of the couch with Skwisgaar, with a silent, nearly-in-a-sugar-coma Murderface in between them, jumped up and walked over. 

“Now, whaddya say to me?” 

“Trick or treats!” Toki said cheerfully. 

“Good job, have a Snackers,” Pickles said, and handed him over a fun-sized candy bar. 

“That...but...” Charles sighed. 

“Wait, lets me shows you!” Skwisgaar said. “Nathans, you does it!” 

Nathan, giggling and very clearly on the start of a sugar high, bounced over to Skwisgaar. “Trick or treat!” 

“Heres you go, haves a Twinks!” Skwisgaar handed him the candy bar, giggling just as hard as Nathan went to sit back down by Pickles. 

“What do we do now if any kids come by?” Charles asked.

“They won’t!” Pickles cried. “Last year a kid almost got ate by the yard wolves. People are protesting us this year, didn’t you see them outside?” 

“I thought they had given up, because they aren’t anywhere near us,” Charles said. 

“Nah, theys ams too scareds of the yard wolves to comes closer,” Skwisgaar said. “Sillies. The wolves ams big babies.” 

“Yeah,” Toki smiled. “They loves eatings the Norwegians Whales.” 

“That’s gummy candy,” Charles frowned. “Wolves shouldn’t eat that.” 

“Oh, hellos, ams Mr. Big Executives Wolves All-Knowings Man,” Skwisgaar scoffed. “They ams fines. A littles sugar highs, but fines.” 

“Oh god,” Charles sighed. “How far do you think they’ll roam from the yard, like this?” 

Skwisgaar shrugged. “Thinks abouts it. If yous was a wolves, wheres would you goes after a lot of sugars?” 

“...I don’t have a frame of reference for any of that,” Charles replied. 

“Shames,” Skwisgaar muttered. “Wants a Grounds bar?” 

Charles hesitated. He had a perfect record at his dentist...

But there were protestors outside, and wolves possibly very hungry for meat thanks to all the empty sugary calories they’d been fed, and he would need a high of some kind to deal with the paperwork of the resulting lawsuits. 

Why not a sugar high? 

“Sure,” Charles said, and held out his hand. 

The boys looked aghast. 

“Charles!” Pickles cried. “Manners, ya dildo!” 

“Sorry?” 

“Oh my god, seriously?” Nathan scoffed. “What do you say?” 

“Oh!” he blushed lightly. “Um. Trick or treat?” 

“Betters!” Skwisgaar grinned, and tossed him the candy bar as well as a fun-sized Pecan Hate. “Sees?! I can trains him like the wolves!” 

“I am not trainable,” Charles protested as he unwrapped the candy. 

“That ams debatesable,” Skwisgaar said. “If you would gives me a week...” 

He caught the look in Skwisgaar’s eye, and blushed harder. 

“Uh...isch that screaming?” Murderface lifted his head the bare minimum to try and see, though he was nowhere near a window. 

They listened, and winced at the sounds from outside, including the pounding of wolf paws on the ground. 

“Here,” Skwisgaar handed him another handful of assorted candy. “Fill yous pockets, and come gets mores later. You ams goings to needs it.” 

“Yes,” Charles sighed, and shoved the candy into the pockets of his suit jacket. “Yes I will.” 

“Woulds you likes me to help calls off the wolves?” Skwisgaar asked, shoving a lollipop in his mouth as he got up off the couch.

“I would be in your debt,” Charles replied as they walked to the front door, the rest of the guys back into their candy binge, unconcerned again with the possible wolf-based massacre going on outside. 

“Nots in debts,” Skwisgaar said. “Keeps this ready fors me.” 

He popped the lollipop out of his mouth, and into Charles’ mouth before Charles could utter a word. 

And just when he thought he couldn’t blush any harder, any redder, he managed it anyway, even as he told himself he needed to focus on the situation at hand. 

But he could multitask. And maybe, if Skwisgaar really was up for it, he could be in hand as well. 


End file.
